


Mono No Aware

by MalikShah



Series: Untranslateable [1]
Category: Gintama
Genre: Bickering, Drinking, Joui War, M/M, Sexual Content, Takasugi has a big ol' crush, Takasugi loses brain cells because he is literally outnumbered in their gang - none of them think!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:34:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26819626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MalikShah/pseuds/MalikShah
Summary: “She said Takasugi just kept his mouth shut and drank booze with bloodshot eyes. A total bore of a man!"There is a reason Takasugi didn't do more with the girl from the red light district. Not that it's any of Sakamoto's business.It's hard being the only one in a group with brain cells. It's even harder when you're in love with a perm headed idiot.
Relationships: Sakata Gintoki/Takasugi Shinsuke
Series: Untranslateable [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1995322
Comments: 15
Kudos: 65





	Mono No Aware

**Author's Note:**

> I can't get over the fact that Takasugi and Gintoki were boyfriends during the war like I'm sorry but they fucked <3

The shouts and loud laughter of his men follows Shinsuke when he steps through the torii of the abandoned shrine they're currently calling their base. He indulges in a fond smile for a moment before leaving the festive mood behind and follows the path into the open field. 

He passes scorched and trampled grass and climbs the hill to the right of the shrine. He carefully arranges the bottle of sake in his hand, trying not to spill any of it. Sakamoto somehow managed to conjure several barrels of it from God knows where. Sometimes it feels like he just pulls that stuff out of his ass with a dumb grin on his face. The thought sours Shinsuke’s mood for as long as it lasts but he quickly manages to push it back and takes a deep breath after finally making it on top of the hill. 

A gentle breeze ruffles his hair and pulls at the knot of his headband. He shivers and looks over the vast landscape stretched out in front of him. No light pollutes the night sky above him and the large fields in front of him look almost untouched in the dark with only the pale moonlight illuminating them. Shinsuke inhales the brisk September air that announces the fast approach of fall. While the days still feel warm and stuffy in the vicinity of hundreds of unwashed bodies, the nights slowly turn the breath visible and campfires are lit more generously. 

Shinsuke doesn’t mind the change. He is almost relieved to leave the humid summer months behind. The smell of the battlefield clings to clothes and hair like mud and blood. With a sigh he sits down, legs crossed and the sake bottle with the sake cup in front of him. Another breeze carries another round of laughter to him and he swears he can hear Sakamoto telling a dirty joke. Clicking his tongue, he pours himself the sake. It smells strong, not particularly good but beggars can’t be choosers and all that. 

The sake burns on his tongue and all the way down his throat. He grimaces but pours himself another cup. This time he toasts to no one in particular - at least he tells himself as much. The entire debacle with Kurokono still leaves a sour taste in his mouth. He doesn’t blame his comrades for wanting to celebrate a victory they've earned after almost falling victim to an ambush none of them had anticipated. A lot more of them could have died that day, not that it is anything new but they already have so little to celebrate so they might as well take what is given. Shinsuke is simply not the person to celebrate another fallen comrade in a war he sometimes struggles to see the end of. 

Another sigh, another cup of sake. The stuff really tastes disgusting. He looks up and contemplates the vastness of the night sky above him. It’s been a while since he last saw the stars like this. At least he thinks so. He can’t really remember the last time he actually took the time to look up instead of what is right before him and right behind enemy lines. 

Maybe back when Sensei was still with them. Maybe when Zura's forced them all to go and watch the fireworks during some long forgotten festival. Not that Shinsuke remembers much more than running from angry men because Gintoki couldn’t keep his little thieving hands from the dango stall. The memory makes Shinsuke frown. The sound of bare feet and Gintoki’s silvery locks right in front of him while he had the gall to laugh and laugh and-

Shinsuke pours another cup and holds it to his lips. The sound of footsteps behind him makes him freeze and his hands go instantly to the sword by his hip. It takes him another second to recognize the body approaching him. The smell of metal, sweat and the sickening odor of caramelized sugar waft over to him. His fingers relax around the hilt of his sword but his shoulders pull up almost instantly and he feels the tension crawl up his neck and seep into his temples.

Gintoki only stops when he stands right next to Shinsuke, head in the neck and sword carelessly tucked under his arm. After another five seconds or so he finally flops down next to Shinsuke and starts unfolding a napkin with something inside. The sword from under his arm is laid before him and the napkin with three onigiri placed on his lap. Shinsuke glances over but Gintoki acts like he’s not even there. He starts to stuff the first onigiri in his mouth and Shinsuke realizes they are filled with something rather disgusting. The sweet smell of whatever makes him almost gag and he hurries to turn to the still full cup of sake, balanced on his right knee. 

The silence stretches into minutes. Gintoki simply munches (loudly) on and Shinsuke feels himself getting restless. This is another game of Gintoki’s, he’s positively sure of it. He loves grating on his last nerve. Sometimes by eating too loudly; sometimes by snoring too insistently when Shinsuke _knows_ Gintoki doesn’t sleep much more than him these days and also sometimes by just saying all the wrong things in this obnoxious voice of his. 

He peers from the corner of his eye and reels back when his eyes are met with Gintoki’s. He fucking hates the look in those eyes. He hates the way he can’t help but linger on the way Gintoki’s lips quirk up and how he notices the wind tossing Gintoki’s already wild hair in more disarray. Shinsuke’s grip on the sake cup tightens. Even a war, the death of countless comrades and Sensei slipping through his fingers day after day can't cure him of _this_ disease.

The disease in question starts to lick all of his five fingers after finishing the last of his onigiri and settles back down on his back, hands folded behind his head and the right foot on his left knee. The epitome of carelessness. Shinsuke starts to debate with himself whether he could simply leave or if this would look like he was giving in. To what - he doesn’t know. But with Gintoki everything feels like it could make him lose face - one way or another. 

So he stays. And the silence under stars continues.

Another roar of laughter from the camp is carried up to the hill - their hill, now. Sakamoto once again the loudest. 

Shinsuke wonders if he’d be more comfortable amidst them now. Better than battling Gintoki on terms he doesn’t fully understand; only that he'll lose if he says something first. Honestly, at thus point it feels like choosing between the plague and cholera - Gintoki’s perm induced idiocy (topped off with Shinsuke’s own brand of idiocy; who is more stupid - the idiot or the man in love with the idiot?) versus Sakamoto’s complete lack of tact and habit of just giving away private details he has no business knowing about. Really, the trip to the red light district has been a mistake that is going to haunt him, he knows it.

“So,” Gintoki suddenly starts.

Shinsuke’s head whips around before he can hold himself back. He tries to cover it up by turning his head the other way, acting like he was just stretching his stiff neck. Gintoki doesn’t seem to notice anyway since his eyes are fixed on the night sky over them. Without acknowledging that Gintoki said anything, Shinsuke follows his eyes and wonders idly if this is going to be the last time he will ever experience this kind of quiet again.

“So,” Gintoki starts again as if Shinsuke simply didn't hear him instead of downright ignoring him. “Did you really spend several thousand yen just to drink with the girl? Like not even a little - you know? Dirty Dancing?”

For a long, horrible moment Shinsuke is sure Gintoki acquired the skill to read minds. Instantly his mind is flooded with everything he doesn’t want Gintoki to know. From the moment he realized what set Gintoki apart from Zura in his eyes, the fact he had cried in frustration back then and the one time he was caught by Sensei red handed in the fridge past 3 am. But when Gintoki doesn’t react to any of the humiliating memories flooding his mind and just pulls some rice from between his teeth that he flicks away, Shinsuke tries to shake his own paranoia off. It works - to a degree. He so does not want to talk about their visit in the red light district. Not to Zura - who hasn’t even been with them, certainly not to Gintoki and even less to Sakamoto. 

_“She said Takasugi just kept his mouth shut and drank booze with bloodshot eyes. A total bore of a man! HAHAHA!”_

Even in his head does Sakamoto’s loud voice make him want to strangle the man to death. The fucking dunce just can’t keep his big mouth shut. He should have cut his tongue out the day he arrived and made him and Gintoki aware of his obvious motion sickness.

Not feeling like drinking anything anymore (so what if he drank with bloodshot eyes?!), Shinsuke puts the sake cup down and pushes it away in disdain. He licks the last droplets of the foul drink from his lips and crosses his arms over his chest. 

“What do you care?”

Gintoki simply shrugs, going from picking his teeth to picking his nose, the juvenile bastard.

“Dunno. Just thought it’d do you some good, you know? Getting laid by a nice girl, even though you’d have to pay her. Would loosen the stick in your ass and all.”

Shinsuke instantly feels like he’s about to pop a blood vessel. The tension in his temples flares up and his hands go for his sword without thinking.

Today is the day. Today he would cut off Gintoki’s fucking perm head and play soccer with it. Maybe use it as a lantern.

Next to him Gintoki either ignores his sudden murder intent or just doesn’t notice. He chuckles a little to himself. “She already chose you. You should have made the best of it. It’s not like it’d be your first time.”

Shinsuke stiffens. He will not discuss this with Gintoki. Not now, not ever. 

Gintoki sniffs, flicks a booger away and continues picking his nose.

Gripping the soft leather of his coat’s sleeves, Shinsuke grits his teeth. If Zura said anything to the bastard, he would… he would…

“Oi,” Gintoki said in his bored voice. “You should say something or else it might sound like your cherry is still hanging there, ripe to be picked. Takasugi Cherry-Boy, Leader of the Kiheitai doesn’t sound that good.”

Shinsuke can't believe this. The fucking perm head next to him just throws around wild assumptions without even knowing when he is dead-on. It’s really starting to piss him off. He can’t even be bothered now. Like he would deign the idiot an answer now. No matter what he says at this point it would sound like whatever the fool wants to hear. And he most certainly would want to hear something he could make fun of. So Shinsuke strains to keep his eyes in the sky, trying to ignore this entire situation.

A heartbeat passed. Another one. Another. Another. Suddenly, Gintoki sits up. “NOW WAY!”

It’s the first time this evening he looks directly at Shinsuke. Not that he would notice. 

With an annoyed click of his tongue, Shinsuke turns away from Gintoki who is now kneeling right in front of him, eyes big and breath stinking of something sweet. It’s repulsive. It’s familiar. It’s Gintoki.

“Takasugi…. you…..” 

“If you say one more word I will end your life and everything you hold dear.” 

His voice sounds cold but he knows there is a desperate undertone resonating somewhere within him. 

Really, of all things Gintoki knows about him he wants this not to be one of them. It’s not that he’s ashamed. He doesn’t care one way or another if someone or he himself had sex at one point in his life. Obviously he knows all about it from Gintoki (the girl who brought them baskets of food sometime three years ago) and even Zura (the woman who offered to patch up some of their clothes last year). He just thinks it’s a colossal waste of time and effort and needlessly dangerous. It’s not a rarity for women and men to be bought by Amanto to weasel their way into the Joui troops. They have a war to fight. There is no time to fool around with strangers.

Gintoki smacks his lips together before pulling back. He lies back down, hands clasped on the back of his head and posture nonchalant. And yet, Shinsuke is still hit with waves of agitation radiating from Gintoki. Oh great, he gave Gintoki something to think about. Hopefully it'll hurt his stupid head so bad he’ll die. 

With a quiet sigh Shinsuke stretches his legs before him, ready to get up. The peace and quiet he has hoped for has vanished the moment Gintoki has showed up. He might as well join his Kiheitai for another drink or two and then retire. He is well aware that tomorrow will mean for them to move on. 

He is about to push himself up when Gintoki stops him again.

“But like… why? It’s not like you’re short on possibilities or opportunities!”

Is this fucking idiot for real now?

Shinsuke can’t help the incredulous glare in Gintoki’s direction. Gintoki notices and gives him a questioning look in return. Now, Shinsuke is sure he’s about to bust a blood vessel in his eye and brain. He really wants to kill now. 

“What?” Gintoki asks.

What? _What?_

Shinsuke stares for another moment before finally averting his gaze for the sky overhead. He idly notices the moon’s descent and wonders just what times it is. 

Suddenly, he feels like the day has finally caught up to him. His shoulders slacken and he feels a bone-deep fatigue wash over him. To think Sakamoto’s dumb ass spilled about the red light district just this morning. To think he cut down Amanto after Amanto merely a few hours ago. To think their lost comrades were still alive this morning. To think Gintoki has still lived in blissful ignorance regarding everything Takasugi Shinsuke this morning.

Maybe he drank too much. He traces the clearly visible milky way with his eyes and sighs.

“Maybe not all possibilities are accessible. At least to me.”

Why is he looking at Gintoki when he says that? Why is Gintoki looking _at him_ when he says that? Did he lose his mind? Is he actually asleep and this is a dream? Maybe he is dead and this is hell. 

Watching Gintoki’s frown deepen, then smoothing out, then the flicker of several emotions - confusion, wonder, realization, understanding - crossing his face; yes, this is definitely hell. One Shinsuke inflicted on himself because the sheer stupidity of his so-called comrades is apparently contagious. 

Gintoki’s breathless “ _Oh”_ really is just the icing on the cake.

Shinsuke does what every respectable person would do in this kind of situation. He shoots up, ignoring the grass sticking to his pants and coat and opts for (strategic) retreat. Who says Zura is the only one realizing when a battle is better left than fought out? There is no way Gintoki will not start making fun of him the second he regains his composure. Like hell will Shinsuke stand by while Gintoki was just passed the perfect opportunity to finally gain the upper hand in their endless squabbling. Sure, he will not hesitate and cut Gintoki down but the humiliation won’t go away, no matter what he could do to Gintoki’s head after separating it from its owner’s neck. 

Before Shinsuke can take one step away from the scene, though, Gintoki’s hand shoots out and clasps Shinsuke’s wrist. “Wait.”

The touch feels hot, even through the fabric of his sleeves and gloves. Instantly, Shinsuke tears his hand from Gintoki’s grip. 

“Don’t touch me!” he snaps; admittingly losing his cool there a bit. 

They seem to be at a stalemate: Gintoki still sitting and staring at him, eyebrows furrowed and mouth pursed while Shinsuke is aware of the downright hostility that leaks from every pore of his body. 

The moment holds until Gintoki finally averts his gaze and ruffles the hair on the back of his head in a quick, frustrated motion. 

“Are you sure about that?” he asks, voice irritated. 

What is _he_ irritated for? Shinsuke clenches and unclenches his left hand. 

“Am I sure about what?” he can’t help but ask back. This is ridiculous.

Suddenly Gintoki stands right in front of him. Ah, here they go again. Shinsuke with his head slightly tilted back while Gintoki physically looks down on him. Shinsuke hates it. He hates it when Gintoki gets this close, showing off all the things that make Shinsuke hate him. Want him. 

Gintoki’s face finally settles in. The annoyed look is gone and instead replaced by a serious line around his eyes and lips. He looks like he is assessing a battle in front of him; undecided whether to charge in or hold back for now. It’s an expression Shinsuke hates even more for it gives way to something Gintoki rarely shows.

“Are you sure that you don’t want me to touch you?” 

The world seems to tilt around him because it’s the only explanation Shinsuke can find as to why he suddenly feels like his head is spinning. What the fuck is going on? What is this supposed to mean?

Gintoki takes another step towards him. Shinsuke takes a step back. It’s like a dance. One the two of them have never done before. When Gintoki pushes, Shinsuke pushes back. When Gintoki pulls, he pulls even harder. 

The wrongness of the shift in their relationship occurs to Shinsuke with a wave of anger that crashes over him. Why can’t Gintoki for once stay out of his goddamn business and do what he’s supposed to do? What’s with the questions? What’s with him playing right into Shinsukes own perverted desires? He’s supposed to make fun of him, mock him for his _feelings,_ tell him he’s fucking sick for thinking about him that way. Instead he makes Shinsuke wonder _what if…?_

With a snarl, Shinsuke shoves Gintoki away. “What the fuck are you playing at?!”

Unfazed, Gintoki simply takes another step. 

Shinsuke tries to gain some sort of control back. His hand lands on the hilt of his sword. At least he’s not shaking. 

A glance to the sword at his hip, then Gintoki takes another step. They are way too close. Not like both of them ever had any regard for the other’s personal space. They are always in each other’s faces, grabbing, punching, growling. But right now Shinsuke is sure he’s going to snap one way or another. 

He isn’t exactly in denial.

He has entertained the idea before, once or twice. Just because he doesn’t fuck around (literally), doesn't mean he's not having needs. Maybe it is unhealthy to develop a crush on the guy who’s been stuck by your side for the better part of adolescence. Sure, they all grew up faster than most because no one in their respective troops even questiones the fact that their leaders haven’t even crossed 20 yet but sometimes Shinsuke is painfully aware of the fact that he is only a few weeks into 18 and Gintoki is stuck mentally in a place between 14 and 15. He thinks of Gintoki when he’s alone. Not just him but he might as well be labeled as ‘reoccurring character’ in Takasugi Shinsuke’s “Top 10 Fantasies of Getting Off To”. This is usually accompanied with a sense of dread and irritation when he’s done but no one knows about it so it’s honestly like whatever. He has a crush on the guy he spent most of his life with. Big deal. 

(It wouldn’t be if it were, like, Zura. Or Sensei. Or anyone else from Shoka Sonjuku.)

He isn’t exactly in denial about his feelings for Gintoki. Doesn’t mean he needs anyone to know, though. Least of all Gintoki himself. 

Shinsuke stays defiant. He glares up in Gintoki’s face, no longer budging and ready to break necks.

Gintoki’s lips quirk up. A lazy smirk sets in and with an air of misplaced smugness he says: “Man, you should really loosen up, Takasugi- _kun_. Hissing and glaring ain’t cute, you know?”

Shinsuke blinks. Wow, he’s really going to snap. Of course he does. Gintoki has that kind of power over him.

Both of his hands go for the lapels of Gintoki’s haori and pull him down on eye level. Shinsuke relishes how Gintoki’s eyes widen and how there is, for the briefest of moments, something in Gintoki’s eyes that can only be described as _Oh shit, I fucked up._

Then, Shinsuke presses his lips against Gintoki’s slightly gaping mouth. It opens a little more under his lips and then to Shinsuke’s complete horror (and delight, curse his traitorous body) pushes back. Gintoki groans a little which goes right to Shinsuke’s head and groin and then he is kissed back. Fingers find their way in his unkempt hair, brush against the knot of his headband before finally anchoring themselves left and right of his head. 

Ever in competition, Shinsuke grabs for the thick silver locks and tugs Gintoki lower. He refuses to get on his tiptoes for this. Against his mouth he feels Gintoki smile and then there is something wet and hot pressing in between his lips. Shinsuke jerks back, eyes wide. 

“Heh.” Gintoki looks absolutely thrilled, eyes glowing even in the dark and tongue darting out to chase some of the taste. Shinsuke is heaving, unable to rip his eyes off of Gintoki’s mouth.

“What the fuck?”

Gintoki grins. “Come on now, Takasugi. Kissing me so out of the blue and suddenly getting shy with a bit of tongue?” He sticks his tongue out and wiggles it around. “Don’t worry, Gin-san knows what he’s doing.”

“If you put that dirty thing anywhere near my mouth again, I’ll bite it off,” Shinsuke deadpans.

“Oi, oi, I bet you’ve already thought about putting some other dirty thing of mine near your mou-”

Without thinking, Shinsuke hits him with the side of his hand square over the head. “Don’t even think about finishing that sentence, you fucking idiot.”

“Tsk.” Rubbing his head and gesturing something obscene towards him, Gintoki straightened himself. “I knew it’d be like this.”

“What was that?” 

They are still standing chest to chest, Shinsuke forced to tilt his head so he can look Gintoki in the eyes. 

Pushing his chin forward, Gintoki puts on a superior expression that makes Shinsuke want to knock him on his ass. He knows what’ll come next. 8 years of being forced into close quarters could make you read another person like that.

“Huh? You know I can see now why no one would want to fuck you. Domestic violence is a big turn off.” 

Shinsuke fucking _knew_ it. This is typical for Gintoki; giving off a false sense of security and then fucking Shinsuke over with the thing Gintoki knows he's insecure about. Not that there is much he’s insecure about, of course. But enough for Gintoki to sniff out and use against him.

Well, two could play the game. Ignoring the irritated itch in his fist and the tension bleeding from his temple all over his head, Takasugi leans back, arms crossed and sneers at Gintoki: “Is that so? Does that mean you were turned on just now? Turned on by a little bit of kissing? Shiroyasha so desperate after a few months of flying solo?” For emphasis he spits on the ground right next to Gintoki’s feet.

“What was that?!” Gintoki fists the front of his dirty coat, forcing Shinsuke to rise a little to his tiptoes. 

“You heard me!” Shinsuke spits back, sizing the lapels of Gintoki’s haori back.

They remain like this until both of them crash into each other for another kiss. This time with a lot more teeth and - despite Shinsuke’s warning - tongue. The first time Shinsuke wasn’t aware of the overwhelming smell; the taste. Now his senses are overly keen on the sweetness seeping into his mouth. Sugar, artificial strawberry; a hint of coffee? All mixed with Sakamoto’s awful sake and the smell of smoke, dried mud and blood. 

All in all it should be revolting. Why isn’t he revolted?

He doesn’t really pay much attention to his surroundings; too enamored by the little gasps that leave Gintoki’s mouth. He can’t help the little moan slipping past his lips either. He almost trips when Gintoki pushes him back, barely holding his balance by grasping Gintoki’s shoulders. There is a weird moment where they just look at each other, both out of breath and reeling from the tension until Gintoki smirks at him and pulls him down in the grass. He’s reminded of the sake bottle somewhere but quickly loses that line of thought when he straddles Gintoki and is pulled in another kiss. 

Maybe Gintoki isn’t a bad kisser. Shinsuke admits he can’t really tell since his head is getting dizzy with the sudden realization that he got Gintoki between his legs and his tongue in his mouth. His 15 year old self would probably pass out if he could see him right now.

With that in mind, Shinsuke just goes with the flow. His hands find Gintoki’s haori again and start pushing it from his shoulders. He wriggles a little and tries to find a better position when Gintoki suddenly groans and hits his head on the ground. 

“Are you for fucking real? Stop- stop that!” 

Blinking, Shinsuke pauses. He looks down at a flushed Gintoki, mouth set in a strained line. He feels the blood rush to his own cheeks. Did he just misread literally every single clue thrown at him in the last 30 minutes or so? He sits up; embarrassment and shame making his hands on Gintoki’s clothes freeze. His usual way of dealing with these feelings is righteous anger so he tightens his grip and shuffles back on Gintoki. 

Two things happen at once then; Shinsuke feels something hard press against his backside and Gintoki’s eyes widen. _“Fucking hell!”_

Oh? Oho?

It’s finally Shinsuke’s turn to smirk. “Say, Gintoki,” he starts before loosening his grip on Gintoki’s clothes and putting one hand down on his chest. “Should I stop?”

Gintoki’s eyes dart to where Shinsuke is connected to his hips and back up.

“Oi, oi, do you even know what you’re doing there?”

To be honest, he does not. Still, his hand glides over the cold iron of Gintoki’s chest armour and rests over his sloppily knotted belt. He lingers there, unsure until Gintoki clears his throat. “You know, I’m patient. Little Gin-san is also patient. If you don’t know what to do then- uh-”

Shooting him a death glare, Shinsuke puts his full weight on Gintoki’s groin and this time he doesn’t groan from pleasure. 

“Obviously, I do not know the proceedings here,” Shinsuke grits out and tries to keep his own embarrassment at bay. Gintoki doesn’t have to know how out of his depth he actually is right now. He made Gintoki hard, what now? 

“Calm down,” Gintoki tries but that only riles Shisuke up more. This is stupid. This entire situation is stupid. 

Before he can make up his mind and leave (forever), Gintoki takes hold of his hands and pushes himself up. “Okay, okay. Let’s just- let me show you, okay?”

A little dumbfounded, Shinsuke allows himself to be manhandled. Gintoki easily switches their positions, so he’s now caging in Shinsuke with all four of his limbs. It ought to feel oppressive but honestly, he’s spent so many times under Gintoki from their first fight up until now, there is hardly a place he knows better. 

Things speed up then. Shinsuke barely knows what is happening in between Gintoki kissing him senseless and the shock of cold air hitting his exposed stomach. 

“Is this okay?” Gintoki asks between kissing up his throat to the spot behind his earlobe. It’s so unlike Gintoki to reassure him that Shinsuke simply grunts and puts up his knee to press it against the bulge in Gintoki’s pants. 

“Bastard,” Gintoki chuckles. 

“Didn’t you want to show me?” Shinsuke bites back. 

“Easy there, samurai-san. You know patience is a virtue, right?”

Shinsuke is about to show Gintoki a piece of his patience when all he can suddenly do is gasp for air. 

“F-fuck…”

Gintoki hums in his ear before pushing his hand deeper in Shinsuke’s pants. 

_Cold._

_Hot._

All five fingers wrapped around his dick, Shinsuke can feel the calloused skin of Gintoki's hot palm move up and down. His own hands press into Gintoki’s bicep which is bulging under the strain of keeping himself upright and finding the right angle to please Shinsuke beneath him. 

“Faster-” Shinsuke manages to say before forcing his jaw shut. He’s said too much already and keeping his noises down to a minimum feels like a given.

“Good thing for you I’m in the mood to be ordered around,” Gintoki muses before quickening his pace. 

A slight whimper escapes Shinsuke as he realizes how close he is. No, no, he can’t come this fast simply because he has Gintoki’s (skilled) hand down his pants. He bites his own lip to keep himself from spilling anything.

“Oi, who you’re keeping quiet for?” 

Slowing down in his breakneck effort to make Takasugi come after nothing but a little hand to hand combat, Gintoki scrutinizes Shinsuke with a frown. Shinsuke barely manages to return a glare, feeling himself flush from his cheeks down to his chest. 

“Keep going,” he urges and when Gintoki doesn’t listen right away he lifts his own hand to place it between Gintoki’s legs. It feels strange. The hot hardness there, shifting in his grip. 

“Hey, that’s not-” 

Shinsuke decides to just rush ahead. That’s how he usually does things. That’s how he ended up in this situation anyway. With surprisingly nimble fingers he manages to untie the knot around Gintoki’s pants and pulls them down. Not all the way but far enough to make room for his hand. The angle is a little awkward and he soon notices that his glove is in the way. He brings his wrist to his mouth in a haste and uses his teeth to pull it off. He spits it out and goes back to get into Gintoki’s pants as fast as possible. Above him he hears Gintoki mumble something under his breath but doesn’t even think about demanding clarification because Gintoki leans down, bites down on the skin between neck and shoulder and tightens his grip around his erection.

It’s messy and quite unspectacular after that. 

Shinsuke, after all, does not know what he is doing. He comes first, naturally and Gintoki sags over him, resting his weight on his forearms as Shinsuke tries his best in whatever he is doing. He doesn’t need words to know what Gintoki likes and what he doesn’t. He is strangely attuned to every twitch in Gintoki’s body, every rise and fall in his voice, like he knows where to strike next- 

This is not the battlefield, he reminds himself. And yet, he does feel a lot like when they’re in combat together. Not fighting each other but rather fighting together for once. 

"Fuck, I’m gonna-” Gintoki pants into his ear and Shinsuke tightens his grip. It feels weird after that; sticky and warm on his bare hand, not much different to when it’s his own but somehow a completely different altogether.

They stay like this, Gintoki braced over him and Shinsuke’s hand still in his pants until the sticky mess on his fingers starts to dry. He removes his hand and gives Gintoki a push with his other. 

“Get off me.”

Gintoki complies and rolls over. 

Grimacing at his dirty hand, Shinsuke holds it over his head and wonders how anyone would want this anywhere near themselves. Next to him, Gintoki is still regaining his breath but somehow manages to say: “It’d be hot if you’d lick-”

Shinsuke’s hand lands square on Gintoki’s face before sliding over his cheek and down to his clothes. There, Shinsuke wipes the remains all over the fabric, cleaning it as well as possible under the circumstances. Gintoki squeaks with indignation and tries to pull away. It ends with a squabble where Gintoki tries to wipe his own hand in Shinsuke’s hair and they roll around until it ends with Shinsuke straddling Gintoki once again, threatening him with the string of salvia dangling from his mouth.

“Stop it, you fucking psychopath!” Gintoki shrieks with both of his hands on Shinsuke’s chin, trying to restrain him.

Shinsuke sucks the spit back in and grins down at Gintoki. “I win.”

“Like hell you do! You just handicapped me with your body and sexual depravity! I won’t fall for this again, perv!”

“Are you stupid?” Shinsuke asks with a blank face.

Gintoki sniffs. “Is this any way to treat your sweetheart, Takasugi _-kun_?”

Without another word, Shinsuke gets up and wipes both of his hands on his pant leg. Gintoki is quick to follow, stumbling to his feet and sniffing on the hem of his haori. Shinsuke doesn’t look at him as he adjusts his own clothes but remarks in an even tone: “If you say anything gross like this again, I’ll take that dirty thing between your legs and put it in a banana slicer of my choice.”

He doesn’t have to see Gintoki’s face to know about the vexed expression he currently wears. He’s always been easy to read like this. 

“If you keep acting like a bitch I doubt anyone will want to get in your pants again.”

God, he is so fucking annoying. Bending over to pick up his previously discarded glove, Shinsuke examines it before shoving it in his coat’s pocket. He really feels like washing his hands now. He glances over his shoulder to where Gintoki is currently fastening his pants.

“It worked on you before, it'll work again.”

With that he sets out to make the trip back down to the shrine where he can still hear the noises and laughter of their comrades.

Behind him, Gintoki shuffles before running up to his side. “Oi, what’s that supposed to mean?”

Shinsuke’s lips quirk up in a faint smirk. Gintoki really is a simpleton.

“Oi! What are you acting all mysterious now? Is this your way of giving Gin-san the all inclusive pass, huh? You think you only have to show your pretty face and I’ll fall over my feet for you? Please, you are 500 years too early to bait me like this!”

“Sure.”

“You’re really pissing me off, asshole!”

Shinsuke closes his eyes for a moment and takes a deep breath. Who knows if any of this will last? He’s been with Gintoki and Zura for so long now it seems kind of impossible for this to ever change. But again, this morning he would have never thought to advance his relationship with Gintoki in this way. They are at war. They are losing more and more people each day. It does seem hopeless amidst all that carnage and death. And yet, Gintoki and Zura seem to be the constant in his life. So maybe this won’t change.

And even if it does, one day in the future, he’ll still have this. It might be a bittersweet feeling but he knows that this too shall pass. 

He watches Gintoki who's finally shut up now walking beside him and wonders who is more stupid?

The idiot or the idiot who is in love with him?

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to chat you can find me on tumblr [witchkingofanmar](https://witchkingofanmar.tumblr.com)


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